Im at strip club and am horny
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
