i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
