he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
