doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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