This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
