oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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