I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize