I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
