In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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