i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
