Non-Jews are for practice
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
