I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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