Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
