Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
