I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
