I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
