youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
