Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
