Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
