It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
