Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
