Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
