That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
