please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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