He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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