I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do vagina's smell?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
