VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
