Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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