I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
