I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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