At least make sure they are 18
Why
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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