i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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