How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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