i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
