So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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