I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
