Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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