I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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