I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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