You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
