dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
