I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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