I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
