I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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