I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
