This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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