The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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