i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
