I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
