I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
