theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
